Last night, American Experience aired a biography of Ronald Reagan and I was captivated by it. I missed the first 1/2 hour, where they talked about his childhood, his football years, his Hollywood years and his governor of California years. I barely missed the election against Jimmy Carter. Tuned in just in time to catch the falling our between his daughter, Patti, and himself due to completely differing views on the world. Reagan's presidency was the first one that I remember occurring during my lifetime. Sure, I parroted my parents' views on his win against Carter ( I was only 7), I didn't know any better. When I was young, what I knew about Reagan was that he made some expensive gourmet jelly bean very popular and desirable since it cost a lot and my mom wasn't about to shell out multiple dollars for a few teeny chewy candies. But oh, the mystique. The myriad of flavors. The exclusivity. The jelly belly club that I couldn't get into. Nope. I was stuck with Brach's. I also knew that there was this scary possibility of war with the USSR called Nuclear war and that he had the power to push some red button (was it really as simple as an oversized cartoony red button?) that would make these hidden missiles destroy the world. He pushed our red button, the communists pushed theirs, what was the point? We'd all be dead. Right? 8 years old, 10 years old...during both terms it was as simple as that in my under politically developed brain. Yes, there were treaties and promises to disarm. With my savvy (hah) 32 year old perspective on my 12 year old self, I can claim that treaties gave me no ease as politicians were not to be trusted and just because Reagan and Gorby signed something that said they'd stop threatening each other with the bomb, didn't mean they truly would. I mean, come on! Who are they trying to kid? Not this kid. Realistically, I don't know what I thought. That was a long time ago. Fear of death by Nuclear bomb, that I remember. Especially because I'd read some book in jr. high, that was about the aftermath of a nuclear war and some of the people that managed to survive. (The title escapes me so if any of you 2 or 3 people who read this remembers a book like that, will you tell me?)

I remember the Iran-Contra hearings and Ollie North, though I also remember not knowing what the heck anyone was talking about. It's when I learned what the 5th Amendment was and how to use it. If you take the 5th, then you must not want to tell the truth because it could be damning, right? Right. Most things were that easy to translate, way back then...ahhh...youth. I was in a theatre program at the University of Utah that summer, and the older kids would make fun of the hearings by re-enacting them. We younger tykes would laugh along and pretend we understood the jokes. Any question posed by a fellow TSFY (Theatre School for Youth) student could be responded to with an "I take the fifth," followed by fits of guffawing laughter because weren't we so clever? That was a fun summer.

In my memory, Reagan wasn't a great president or a disaster. He was THE PRESIDENT. If you held that office, then didn't you, by default, have to be good at your job? I mean, you are responsible for this country. (You can't see me, but I am experiencing some fits of that guffawing laughter again.) What I appreciate about this biography, is that I feel like I have a better understanding of what actually happened during his 2 terms. Not so much a black and white issue of good president or bad. There were some pretty amazing accomplishments during his time. Whether he is wholly responsible or not, I couldn't say. Objective perspective is a better place to weigh those debates, and I can too easily get caught up in dismissing a political figure soley based on his/her political party affiliations. I should know better. I DO know better.