Read the Directions

Remember that day in grade school when your teacher handed you a pop quiz and says, very explicitly, to read and follow the directions? So you sit at your desk, see that there are directions, but proceed to write your name, the date and then speed through the quiz because it's kind of easy. And you are a little surprised, but, what the hey? Easy A. You notice a couple of kids get up right away and hand in the quiz, which is a bit disconcerting. Are they so fast? Or, are was it--and how could it be--too hard? Never mind. Finish in record time, proudly walk the test up to the teacher's desk where she gives you an "F" and asks you to take it back to your seat and go over the directions again. She didn't even LOOK at the answers. Back at your seat, you take the time to actually read the directions. They say, "Write your name in the space provided and return to Mrs. Soandsos desk."

DUH!!!!

Last night, I came home from work and, after a little snack of brown rice styrofoam cakes with almond butter, I began to prepare my dinner. So glad that I didn't have to go to the store. I was even being creative. Chicken breast that I'd taken out of the freezer to thaw, fennel, yellow pepper, shalots and a nectarine. Yum. Beautiful red rice on the stove to boil (it's this gorgeous brick red color and really nutty. I believe it comes from Thailand. Love it.) and soon, I have a pretty nice dinner all ready to eat. Yum. Even remembered to drink my mediclear apperitif. Still better, leftovers for lunch, tomorrow.

This morning I am looking over my mediclear instructions, because I like to refresh my memory now and again. CRAP!!! Yesterday was the start of the week where I eliminate ALL meat. I'd had it in my head, for some reason that it was just fish that I wasn't allowed to eat. NO MEAT. crap. Then, ready to eat my gluten free, wheat free waffle with almond butter, I take a gander at the list of ingredients. Double crap. Made with soy flour, though it is last on the list of ingredients...as if that makes it alright. I ate them all last week. This cleanse is a no soy in your diet kinda cleanse. Well, I think, at least it was only a few days during the first week. Four days of it, to be exact.

I'm not starting over or calling myself a failure with it. But here I am, back in grade school thinking I've done so well, and really, I didn't get it at all. Didn't read the directions closely. Assumed I knew what was going on and what ingredients were in my food.

I have been told, by some people I know who have done a detox or this mediclear cleanse, that they'd experienced some heightened emotional breakdowns during the process. Was it something that I found happening to me? Well, not in a strict sense. And I have had a couple of instances of what I like to call "Mediclear Meltdown" when faced with no prospects in the food world. Sandwich counter episode, eating there with a friend, where they only had a spoonful of the lentil soup and charged $4 for a couple of slices of turkey--since that was all I could have after the lentil soup was nonexistent. The stuffed grape leaf that was supposed to have ONLY rice and herbs and really had rice, herbs and bulgar wheat. This morning, when I realized I'll be eating styrofoam cakes for lunch. Yeah. I've wanted to cry. I've felt emotionally vulnerable and forlorn. Is that what they mean?