Not Party Potential

It never ends. This jaunt down memory lane. My pal, Adam, and I have been e-mailing back and forth impressions of our impressions. But what, dear reader, are the impressions of those that you thought you knew, or didn't know at all and yet they knew you? Hmmmm...it is probably better not to know, that is what I think. I am afraid that I'd be told I was some kind of snooty snob. In college, friends told me that when they first met me, they thought I was aloof. Ouch. I wasn't aloof. I was quiet and shy. Once I get to know someone, I am easygoing--I think--and silly and friendly. I don't strke that person as a shy gal, but I am. In social settings, if I don't know you, I feel too awkward to extend the hand and say, "Hello. I'm Linnet. What's your name?" And then the flow of what do you do, are you from Seattle questions. I'd prefer to stand at the food table and munch on chips and dip, if they're available. Otherwise, you might find me standing in front a the bookshelf reading all the titles and making mental notes of the ones I've read, or that I haven't read and want to. Or the ones I wouldn't read, unless they were the last books on earth. Who am I kidding? I don't even go to parties. What does this have to do with the start of this entry? I don't know. I don't care.

Well, I did go to one, recently. Shawn was in Oregon, surfing, and I'd already told the hostess that I was planning on going. I wanted to go. Really. Only, when it came time to get out of the house and into the cab, I was having my doubts. Would I know anyone there? Would I have a good time if I didn't? Could I bust out of my shell and make some new friends? Ugh. It's times like these that I suddenly feel so small and exposed. The party was quite the happening spot. All kinds of hipsters and yogsters and a mixture of both. (Housewarming for my favorite yoga teacher, and it was very sweet of her to invite me.) A band was getting ready to play just as I arrived, phew!, no need to make conversation now. Said my hello to Jenny and then looked at a bunch of faces that I did not know. Unfortunately, the band only played for about 20 minutes. It was time to mingle. Looked at the books. Hmmm...some good reads there. O. Always wanted to read that one. Self guided tour of the living room, kitchen and hallway. Goody. Pictures. Huge back yard. A table with some food that I couldn't eat (I was in the midst of that liver cleanse. Still a few weeks away from coffee, in case you were wondering.), a badmitton game being played, fire pit and vegetable garden. HUGE back yard! Back into the house. Okay...outside for some sparkling water. Another turn around the garden and I have cell phone in hand to call a cab. "Hi, I'm Alvin. You look like you need some people to talk to." A hand extends, I shake it, give a nervous laugh and am introduced to the other guys standing around in a little circle of welcome. Now, that wasn't that hard, was it? We are soon joined by the girlfriend of one of the guys and having a merry conversation. I stay for another 45 minutes, and then leave, thanking them for including me. Mental note to try that whole "Hi, I'm Linnet" thing on someone next time I'm at a party and I see others, like me, who don't seem to know anyone.

I suppose that the other party goers could have seen me wandering around, hands in pockets, not talking to anyone and view me as some kind of unapproachable. My fear of introducing myself--heck, of saying my name and playing the pronunciation game--might look like something completely different to an onlooker. I don't know.